H. Digby Clarke

What a Loving memorial tribute today to the unique and incomparable Digby — he would have loved it! Digby was an inspiration to me as he was to so many others. I will never forget him. He had a particular gift of Listening that made you feel in that time that you were the only person in the world that mattered. I will miss his wisdom, his wit, his caring heart, his martinis!

Digby did it all his way, a Bon Vivant to the end, no doubt he is shaking up the realm that he inhabits now, leaving us all the richer for knowing him, but Oh how he will be missed! But of course, he is not really gone far away at all….

“Life is eternal and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon, and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.”
~ R. W. Raymond

Digby is an inspiration, a powerhouse, in his profession and a true, fiercely loyal friend for anyone. In just a little over 2 years that he worked with BC Families in Transition (BCFIT), he made a large and listing impact for which we will always be grateful. All of us at BCFIT miss him and will remember him for his passionate enthusiasm for the field of thanatology, for the power of ongoing education, and for the sheer strength of his spirit which enlivened and motivated all who came near him. There will never be another Digby — what an honour and a privilege to have known him!

Tammy, Chris, Sean.

I know that words cannot replace, they cannot sooth right now, they will not adequately describe what a person was. Who they were for you. What need was fed. If only there were more to offer. I found your dad infinitely patient with my incessantly ignorant questions and suggestions. He was classy and wise. Brave and honest. He took time for people. He was an integral part of family gatherings, a type of light, that helped you see those around you with clarity. He made you feel like you actually had something to say, made you feel special, a gift not shared by many. I felt smarter when I talked with him. I felt privileged to know him and heartened to know the world will benefit for generations to come, because of his influence. It is always hardest for those left behind, left to reconstruct their lives, but he will never truly be gone. He lives on in the love and wisdom he shared with all of us, but no where more than with his family. I am truly sorry for your loss. Love Kat and Mark Russell

An Indian Prayer (Part V)

Great Life giving Spirit,
I face the West,
the direction of the sun down.
Let me remember every day,
that the moment will come,
when my sun will go down. Never let me forget,
that I must fade into you. Give me beautiful colour.
Give me a great sky for setting….

Hello Tamara, Kent, Aya & Koen,

We only knew Digby for a short time but his dedication to learning and making the most of every day were an inspiration.
We wish you and your family the comfort of friends and loved ones at this time and in the days ahead.
Our thoughts are with you.

Colleen & Richard

Digby was such a survivor it is hard to imagine him no longer in physical form. I remember many long talks with him about spirituality. He saw life and humans as energy, and he wanted to live to the last drop. I know he did…
I just returned from a week’s retreat with Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh (Tha’y), and am only just getting to my emails. However, during one morning’s presentation, as the beloved Tha’y was talking, I saw Digby’s face imposed on his. Tha’ys shaved head was white haired, and he looked like Digby. I had the sense that there was a big shift here on earth.
Digby had a brilliant mind, a courageous heart, and an outrageous sense of humor. He loved to debate and push the envelope. He was a phenomenal cook and gardener and appreciated the finer things in life, especially when they came with four wheels! My kids are still telling stories about how he would park his car at the farthest corner of a parking lot in order to protect it from dents!
His passion for learning knew no limits, and he was devoted to helping others. Many benefited from his wisdom and caring. His email address said it all -‘digcare.’
He has made footprints on my heart. He was one of a kind and I miss him.
My heart is with all of you, and I send you my love,
Penelope

We met Digby in 2008 as the father (and father-in-law) of three of the kindest people we’ve ever met, Chris, Tammy and Kent. It was clear then, (and even more so now from reading these comments) that his kids are a reflection of a truly unique and compassionate personality. We feel privileged to have known him and grieve the passing of such a bright spirit, but cherish the legacy he left behind.

In 1992, Digby and I met during our first course in Adlerian therapy. During the break, I offered to share my sandwich with him. He was touched and asked me why I would offer him my lunch even though we were strangers. I explained that in our tradition, we always offer to share our food with others before we start eating. This marked the beginning of a long lasting friendship. Digby and I had great times as students and as colleagues but I cherish Digby most of all for being a very special and inspirational person. His goal is to bring hope, faith, and love to all those who are suffering and grieving. His source of happiness was seeing others recovering from their loss. He was like a role model for overcoming obstacles and I still look up to him whenever I am in difficulty. Adler says that life is movement and death itself is another form of movement. Digby in his life and in his death is perpetual movement. Therefore, for all those who knew him, Digby will remain inspirational.

Tamara, Sean, Christopher, please accept my condolences for your loss. Digby was a great father and human being and will be missed.

Tammy, Kent and all of the family, I was so sorry to read of the passing of Digby. It is very tough to lose a parent and it is something we all go through. It is a very difficult thing and I wish you well with the grieving that must go on. Take good care of yourselves, Jo Hadfield

Chris, Tammy and Sean
We miss Digby and know that without him and his strong presence our “west coast” family feels incomplete.We are all grieving the loss of your father and our friend.
We met Digby nine years ago when he moved to be closer to his family. He wanted to be closer to his son Sean, who he was very proud of, Sean’s wife, Barb and his grand children,Stephen, Ryan and Emma, and to his daughter Tammy, his confidant , who he shared so much without reservation.
The first serious discussion we had with Digby centered around how he hoped to convince his son Chris, who was living in Montreal, to move to Victoria. He loved him, was concerned for his well being, and wanted him closer.
Like most problems Digby tried to solve, he was successful, and soon Chris moved from Montreal to Victoria and became an integral part of our “west coast” family.
We shared memorable times together,the birth of two grandchildren,
Aya and Koen , seeing his daughter become a wonderful Mother, Sunday dinners which Digby treasured, always arriving in his just polished Jaguar with a bottle of wine. He would shake hands with Cliff and I because it was the right thing to do and hug Dianne. We remember each of those many dinners and get togethers fondly. We will miss him terribly.
We only knew your father for a short time but marveled at his energy, his love of life, his youthful outlook and of course, his accomplishments. Whether it was practicing law, working in radio, pursuing his masters and his doctorate in Thanatology or helping and counseling those in need at the Families In Transition center here in Victoria. He did it his way.
He was a dear friend and a partner in our” family” journey and we will miss him.
Unfortunately, we did not know Jean but through Tammy and Chris and Digby we felt her presence, her caring, her gentleness, her sense of family. At the beginning of many shared occasions, Digby would raise his glass to “absent members”.
We are richer for knowing him and honored to call him our friend.
With Love,
George and Dianne

Dear Clarke Family,

I had the pleasure of working with Digby for a couple of years as one of the four original members of Canadair Limited’s legal team. I certainly remember his affection for English sports cars and the sometimes heated discussions with another member of our office who was a Citroen enthusiast. Neither car, of course, was suitable for our Montreal winters, but who could tell him that?

We stayed in contact after he left to set up his practice, but then my career led me to a long stay in Europe and we lost touch.

I am very happy to have known Digby and glad to read about his rewarding career of service. Please accept my heartfelt condolences and my best wishes to all of you.

Sincerely

Bill Gagnon

The loss of a legal classmate is always painful and more particularly after knowing one for over 50 years.

His own sad loss was converted into continuing to help others.

To his personal family permit me to send my sincere sympathies.

He will be well remembered across the country.
May he rest in peace.

I am sitting in the Hotel Belleclaire in NY city, a place where Digby and Tamara used to visit, a place he suggested I stay. All I can think of is how much I will miss the man who became a valued friend, confidant and teacher. Digby was a communicator and that is how I met him, at Toastmasters. At our first meeting I remember saying to myself,”oh my goodness who the heck is this guy”. Digby always told it like it was but he was also able to listen, advise and support you. I have learned so much from the man of so many skill sets that I will always take his legacy with me everyday of my life. Thank you Digby for being you and allowing me to share the time we spent together. That voice and advice will live with me until my time comes.
Love,
John