Tristan passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on Friday, November 26th, 2021 at a favourite resort on the West Coast of Vancouver Island at the age of 74 after complaining of chest pains. Predeceased by parents Clifford and Shirley, brother Cliff Jr and his dear “Aunt Lolly” Lorraine Parman, his mother’s lifelong high school friend.
Survived by his loving husband of 17 years, Daniel and sister Nancy and by long-time and close friends in Victoria and on Grand Manan Island, and in Canada and America. He was raised in Rockville Center, New York and his talent was discovered at the age of 14 by Howard Barlow, conductor of radio & TV’s Firestone Symphony Orchestra.
Tristan entered the Peabody Conservatory of Music at Johns Hopkins where he completed a double major in piano & conducting. It was at Peabody where he received the nickname Tristan because he was dating “Isolde” while he conducted the opera. He studied with Herbert von Karajan at the Akademie des Mozarteum in Salzburg, earning a diploma in conducting. He was invited to enter the Westminster Choir College at Princeton where he earned degrees in composition and piano. During this period, he was also a founding member of the chamber music group Northampton Trio.
Tristan was artist-in-residence and a faculty member at the American Boychoir School before becoming the conductor of Offertorium Musicum Choir. He created the opera workshop at St. Mary’s College in Maryland and where he was the assistant to the college president and member of the piano faculty. As pianist, composer & conductor of National Boychoir of America, he helped bring the ensemble to acclaim while touring internationally.
The ensemble recorded six albums. After retiring from the Boychoir, he conducted the New England Vocal Ensemble, directed music at Episcopal churches, presented music clinics and conducted at music festivals.
While living in California he initiated the Stars & Stripes program with the Santa Rosa Orchestra, Sonoma University, and established a choir at a State Prison. In Victoria he was the organist and choir director at St. John the Divine and at Saints Peter and Paul in Esquimalt.
He met Daniel at a potluck in Metchosin when living in Victoria. He then moved to Delaware to be closer to his dying father. After securing Daniel’s address they began corresponding followed by a return visit to Victoria the following year and a stay at a log cabin near Sooke. A visit by Daniel to Delaware in the Spring of 2003 was followed by Tristan’s move back to Victoria in July and marriage in November. He was passionate about nature and white water rafting.
In lieu of flowers donations may be made to the Canadian Red Cross BC Flood & Extreme Weather Appeal https://www.redcross.ca/donate/appeal/donate-to-the-canadian-red-cross-fund
Condolences may be offered to the family below.
McCall Gardens
www.mccallgardens.com
19 Responses
Dear Daniel,
I wanted to reach out to you to share that I studied piano with Tristan at the American Boychoir School in Princeton while a student there in the early 1970’s. He was a gifted teacher and role model to me. I’m sorry to hear of his passing….I just Googled him this evening. I’m so glad that he found you and that you shared 17 years together. I feel very fortunate to be celebrating my 26th year with my husband Jerrod this year. I also feel fortunate to have made a wonderful life as a collaborative pianist and vocal coach. I recently retired from a university in Michigan but still concertize frequently.
I can not tell you how much I wish to talk to him. Valerie
I knew Tristan in the 1980’s as a great mentor and he really saved my life back then. He provided a great spiritual solice to me and opened new vistas I had never dreamed of for my life’s possibilities. When he went to Canada he didn’t contact me again but I was a little aware of what he was doing. My best to Daniel though we have not met. I could write a book here of his good works, literally there are so many. I know of so many that he helped at great cost to himself and he lost quite a bit of sleep to take care of the needs of others. I can only thank him for his life and ask that God take him and bless him in his eternal home. James Griffin
When I was in the Navy in Southern Maryland, my spirit was lifted whenever we played music together.
I am sorry for your loss, Daniel, and the world’s loss.
Val and Bill
Tristan Rhodes, my great mentor, teacher and dearest of friends, passed away in British Columbia on the anniversary of his marriage to his dear Daniel. Tristan was a musical giant, a brilliant creative and one of my favorite people on earth. He was, indeed, joyous music to a troubled world. Kathleen and I will miss him terribly. We cannot believe he is gone. Goodbye old friend. All and only Peace dear brother.
Know we love you Daniel.
John and Kathleen,
I am so very sorry for your sudden loss, Daniel, and send my heartfelt condolences. Tristan went out of his way to make my work easier when we were for a few years ‘on the same team.’ He even treated me to lunch at the Empress one Thursday noon. I was a ‘fish out of water’ but Tristan’s flair orchestrated a memorable meal. I always assumed our paths would cross again some day. It is my loss that they did not. Peace to you.
Dear Daniel – I was always enchanted in the loving way that your beloved Tristan looked at each other. Both of you – treasures to each other. Of course our initial connection was through Munro’s Books when my late husband, Jim Munro was so delighted to’discover’a new staffer Dan – a brilliant young man who was literate and had musical knowledge. And along came Tristan–from then on Tristan and Jim had an ongoing dialogue through centuries of organ music, yes, we had two organs at the house. Tristan entertained and educated us spontaneously. Tristan- a unique gift to us all – and what a fabulous smile!
We remember Tristan with great fondness, of course, and send Daniel our deepest sympathy. Tristan will be missed by so many. love – Arleen and Chris xo
I had known Tristan (Keith, as he was named back then) since my earliest teenage years, back when we all were growing up in Poughkeepsie, New York. He was a neighbor and close friend to me and my brother, a favored and exceptional student of my mother, with whom he studied piano and music, and a classmate of and soulmate to my dear departed sister Sally. Keith and I lost contact over the many decades after that, as we both metamorphosed in our unique ways (Keith eventually becoming Tristan!), then reconnected maybe ten years ago somehow, magically, when I met my present wife Victoria in St. Augustine, Florida, and we were beginning our journey that soon would lead to marriage. A few years later Daniel and Tristan came to our engagement party. They met our dearest friends there, who all felt a kinship and immediate bond with them. And since then, through our visits here and in Parish, Florida, Tristan – recounting the many years and fascinating experiences of his amazing life and the brilliant friendships and mentors he encountered along the way and the travels to exotic and beautiful lands and the people who filled his life and the memories of and love he felt for my sister and the meeting and courtship and marriage with Daniel and the music always the music effervescing within his soul – touched me in a way for which I was not really prepared at first. Then his and Daniel’s existence quickly became a welcome and integral part of my life – I always felt their presence even when we had not recently talked. Tristan added to my awareness what true spirit and soul and love are all about, and his sheer unbounded happiness in having found Daniel reaffirmed the power of “two-ness” for me in a simple and pure way. Now that he has moved to the next level, his energy and joy continue to fill me up buttercup . . . he will always imbue peace and faith in me through the years I have left in this world. Thank you, my dear friend, for all you gave me. Victoria and I will cherish our friendship with Daniel, and our enduring connection with your spirit, forever.