Tristan passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on Friday, November 26th, 2021 at a favourite resort on the West Coast of Vancouver Island at the age of 74 after complaining of chest pains. Predeceased by parents Clifford and Shirley, brother Cliff Jr and his dear “Aunt Lolly” Lorraine Parman, his mother’s lifelong high school friend.
Survived by his loving husband of 17 years, Daniel and sister Nancy and by long-time and close friends in Victoria and on Grand Manan Island, and in Canada and America. He was raised in Rockville Center, New York and his talent was discovered at the age of 14 by Howard Barlow, conductor of radio & TV’s Firestone Symphony Orchestra.
Tristan entered the Peabody Conservatory of Music at Johns Hopkins where he completed a double major in piano & conducting. It was at Peabody where he received the nickname Tristan because he was dating “Isolde” while he conducted the opera. He studied with Herbert von Karajan at the Akademie des Mozarteum in Salzburg, earning a diploma in conducting. He was invited to enter the Westminster Choir College at Princeton where he earned degrees in composition and piano. During this period, he was also a founding member of the chamber music group Northampton Trio.
Tristan was artist-in-residence and a faculty member at the American Boychoir School before becoming the conductor of Offertorium Musicum Choir. He created the opera workshop at St. Mary’s College in Maryland and where he was the assistant to the college president and member of the piano faculty. As pianist, composer & conductor of National Boychoir of America, he helped bring the ensemble to acclaim while touring internationally.
The ensemble recorded six albums. After retiring from the Boychoir, he conducted the New England Vocal Ensemble, directed music at Episcopal churches, presented music clinics and conducted at music festivals.
While living in California he initiated the Stars & Stripes program with the Santa Rosa Orchestra, Sonoma University, and established a choir at a State Prison. In Victoria he was the organist and choir director at St. John the Divine and at Saints Peter and Paul in Esquimalt.
He met Daniel at a potluck in Metchosin when living in Victoria. He then moved to Delaware to be closer to his dying father. After securing Daniel’s address they began corresponding followed by a return visit to Victoria the following year and a stay at a log cabin near Sooke. A visit by Daniel to Delaware in the Spring of 2003 was followed by Tristan’s move back to Victoria in July and marriage in November. He was passionate about nature and white water rafting.
In lieu of flowers donations may be made to the Canadian Red Cross BC Flood & Extreme Weather Appeal https://www.redcross.ca/donate/appeal/donate-to-the-canadian-red-cross-fund
Condolences may be offered to the family below.
McCall Gardens
www.mccallgardens.com
19 Responses
I met Tristan almost ten years ago when he visited my house in St Augustine Florida. He was a friend of my future husband and his sister, brother and their mother whom he adored. What I remember so strongly is that the moment I met him I knew he saw me. Not the outside but my spirit. And each time after that first connection I felt such a positive energy in his company. One that made me feel good about myself. There can be no greater gift to a person than that. Since his passing I have spoken to him in the dark of night when I most often feel my weaknesses and he remains present with me. I am so grateful to have had and still have him as a part of my life. His partner Daniel is a special gift to us all as well. I am thankful knowing we will all stay connected in our different ways.
I am so thankful to God for bringing Tristan to St. Anne’s parish, DE and into my life. His life was not long in years, but the good he accomplished was extraordinary. I have sung under more than a dozen choir directors, but none of them comes close to Tristan for making such a wonderful positive effect on my life as a chorister. It was truly a great joy to be in his choir and to know him as a good friend. He could hear each voice in the choir, and would critique me in a way that rather than being offended, I was grateful for his critique and his advice on how to improve. Tristan made the whole choir as good as it could be, and he made the whole group a delightful place of friendship and joy. Thank you, Tristan, for your life among us. I will always remember you with love and admiration
Tristan was a good friend and colleague. Over the years I had occasion to participate in various musical endeavors with Tristan and always admired his talents. He and Daniel stayed at my home while they were house-hunting – both were enjoyable house guests. They were even fond of Tula, my dog (a requirement for staying at my house). Tristan will be missed. Condolences to Daniel.
My deepest sympathies to Daniel, friends and family. You’re in my thoughts, Dan, as is Tristan. My heart goes out to you. Love,
Becca
I am in a Senior’s home now and so are 3 other people from St. Joh’s the Devine Church in Victoria.. They remember Tristan well . He and I gave concerts together,once I sang a whole Schubert recital which he accompanied.lWe teamed up with a lot of solos during the service .He phoned me a little while ago,and suggested that we should team up again and sing and play for Senior Homes.It was a nice dream which of course never materialized.It was always fun to work with him and at times my friend Kate Rhodes joined us and accompanied us with her wonderful violin playing and singing duets together.. We have to face that dying is a part of living. I think of him as a part of a joyful musical life.
Agnes .
In the mid-1970s, I was a member of Offertorium Musicum, the choir for which Tristan served as conductor. Though contact during subsequent years was intermittent — and face-to-face meetings very few — I appreciated the warmth and kindness with which Tristan always treated me. A fine man has departed from the earth far too soon. I send my condolences to Daniel and to all those who were close to Tristan during his final years.
So sorry for your loss, Daniel, and for the loss to the music community. Although I was only a recent member of the A-Rovin’ Singers I enjoyed my time with the guys and with Tristan. It was a joy to sing under him and he will be truly missed.
What a wonderful career! I’ll always remember being entertained by Tristan at bookstore parties; he was a great storyteller. Love to Dan from the Munro’s family.
My condolences go to Daniel at this time. We are never ready for the passing of a loved one, especially so suddenly. Tristan was such a vibrant man and will be deeply missed by many.
Dearest Daniel, Words can’t express how I feel about this devastating loss. Even though I’ve only known you and Tristan for 2 years, I was deeply touched by your fondness and love for each other. I will always remember our visits in the office and getting to hear Tristan’s amazing experiences and hearing your future travel wishes. He has left a beautiful legacy in this world. If you ever need anything at all Daniel, don’t hesitate to reach out. Big hugs xo