Patricia Kilshaw died peacefully in the Royal Jubilee Hospital, Victoria BC on 21st January 2022. Patricia, or Nini, as she was affectionately known among family and friends, was diagnosed with cancer in 2017. She bravely bore the prolonged treatment without complaint, even though she knew her future was bleak. Throughout she continued to care for her family and to continue her work, only ending her professional responsibilities some six months before the end. In the final weeks of her life, she amazed us all by her bravery, humour, ability to delegate (boss us around), and plan for the future of her children. Through her dedication to joy we were able to have some bittersweet, but primarily sweet moments with her in these past weeks.
Patricia was born in Oakville, Ontario on 16th March 1972. She moved to Victoria, BC with her family in early 1976. Throughout her life she was an unassuming, gentle, loving person, who was knowledgeable of the world around her. She began her education in the Montessori system, and later entered the French immersion programme, progressing through the public school system in Victoria, and ultimately graduating from Mount Douglas High School. She studied French, English and Psychology at the University of British Columbia, French at the Université en France Canadien, in Villefranche-sur-Mer, Provence, a programme offered by Laurentian University of Ontario. In 2005 Patricia graduated with an MBA from the Executive Business programme at Queen’s University, Kingston, Ontario. Throughout her professional life with BC Ferries Corporation; Aspreva, a pharmaceutical company in Victoria; Q5, a private investment endeavour she was instrumental in founding; and latterly with BC Pensions Corporation, Patricia was always well-regarded by her colleagues at all levels.
Nini was a fiercely loving mother to her children, Olivia (15), Lukas (12) and stepson Justin (26).
Olivia has been supported and encouraged by Nini to excel in ballet, while Lukas has become a skilled hockey player with her nurturance and the guidance of his father. For many years the family coexisted with a Hungarian Puli dog and recently welcomed Rolo the Australian Labradoodle into their lives, both of whom Patricia loved despite the chaos they often introduced to their lives.
Nini is survived by her beloved children, Olivia, Lukas and Justin; her partner John; her devoted mother, Margaret (Colin); her loving father, Miles (Heather); her three bereft sisters Carole (Brian), Sarah, Susie (Ed) and their children; and equally importantly her large extended family and friends.
Nini loved life, loved the world, loved France, loved good food and wine, loved her family, and loved buttertarts like no other. Full of humour, and beautiful, Nini loved to read, to converse with friends and colleagues. She delighted in her time on her mother’s property on Thetis Island, and had a passion for travel, particularly to England and to France. We shall always miss her, and grieve her early death, but we shall cherish our memories of her. We will honour her by continuing to nurture, protect, and guide her children and to find light and humour in life. We look forward to sharing joyful Nini stories, of which there are plenty.
Thanks are due to Patricia’s doctors, nurses and staff at the Royal Jubilee Hospital. They cared for her through her last days in an exemplary fashion. Thanks, also, to the staff of the BC Cancer Clinic in Victoria, who treated her, and encouraged her throughout her vicious illness.
A Memorial Celebration of Life was held on February 8, 2022, at 2:00 p.m. at McCall Gardens Sequoia Centre, 4665 Falaise Drive, Victoria BC, V8Y 1B4. The family requests those attending in person show Vaccine Passports.
All others are invited to attend virtually via Zoom by clicking the link below. Please use your video camera when joining so that family in attendance can see you and feel your support.
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/88355139061?pwd=MUx5MEE1bmlnbWZkMzdQME52VGN0UT09
In lieu of flowers the family would welcome donations in Nini’s name to the BC Cancer Agency.
http://www.bccancer.bc.ca/donate
Condolences may be offered to the family below.
McCall Gardens
www.mccallgardens.com
17 Responses
Dear Margaret, Miles, Carol, Sarah and Susie,
We both feel grief and sorrow at your loss of Nini. We realize the despair, emptiness as well as the anger that Nini has been taken from your lives so soon.
We remember her as a smiling cheerful young child and teenager as we all enjoyed our family times together.
Love,
Norma and Frank.
I am grateful to have known and worked with Patricia. She was brilliant. She raised sweet, beautiful children. She cared deeply. She worked hard. She was strong. I will cherish the time we had and the memories I hold. Patricia will be in our hearts forever and the positive impact she had on so many will live on and be carried forward.
Patricia was highly accomplished and well-educated, a loving mother and a truly good friend. At the same time, she was so modest and graceful in her demeanour – such a rarity, and such a huge loss.
Margaret and Miles, we shared many excellent times together over the years. These enabled us to meet your family be charmed by them. Nini would pass through these brief meetings always dropping off a smile and greeting. She exuded a cloud of warmth to all.
You must both be hollowed out by your loss even though it did not strike suddenly. There is no way a family can reinforce itself from such a loss no matter how much advance warning is given. May your journey through this valley be quick, if not painless.
We wish to support you through your grief and beyond. We stand by till you call.
Dear Patricia,
What a blessing you were to me. In a very short time we realized how much we had in common- kids, work, leadership, family and chicken tenders from the monkey tree! I will miss our special times outside of our work – wine and whine nights, giggles on the Lakehill trails, dog walks with Rolo and sir Duke! We solved all the worlds problems! I will also miss your mentorship at work- you left such an impression with me and so many more. It’s rare to work with someone who meets you where you’re at, welcomes and challenges you to do your best at the same time. Thank you my dear friend – the world was a kinder place with you in it ❤️
My sincere condolences to Miles and family at this time.
Patricia,
My dear friend your friendship has meant the world to me. I loved how each day we were in the office we would find each other in the hallways to check in on each other. See how life was outside of work before we dove into our project discussions. We established our regular check in on each other seamlessly. Your incredible heart, amazing kindness and your empathy made you an incredibly beautiful person who I am proud to call my friend.
Our friendship expanded to outside of work and I am so incredibly grateful to have seen you as a mother – you hold the bar high in your devotion to your children.
I will miss our Saturday morning coffee and chit chat – our check-ins over a phone call at lunch – our visits over wine even zoom calls – I will just miss knowing you are here – you are a true leader of compassion and empathy and always put others before yourself and you will be dearly missed my friend, you have now made ‘legend status’.
As your friend, I promise to be here for your family and especially your children should they need anything and I promise to celebrate the moments as you did every day.
Rest my friend – you are loved and missed
Erin
Patricia
I have many fond memories of you and my sister Darcie getting into everything together. Your friendship was one which time made no difference, a true lifelong friendship that most can only wish for. We are thinking of your family and friends through this very difficult time. May you rest in peace and watch over all your loved ones as I’m sure your doing ❤️
Although we lost touch in your adult life, I shall always remember you Nini as you moved through your teens to become a beautiful young woman and mother. Your many accomplishments will never outshine your lovely smile and gentle nature. Your children are your legacy and your footprint on this earth and I know they have a loving family and many beautiful memories of you to guide them.
Our love and condolences to your family,
Susan Astill (McNish) and family
Patricia, I will miss our long talks, our constant laughter in hard times and our friendship in general. I always knew you were there, we made a great pair! I know you are watching us all and guiding your beautiful kids in their journey. Thankful to have met you and I will always remember your smile.