Sybil Edith Elizabeth Butterfield (née Agnew) left the party after lunch on July 29 to be with husband James, daughter Joy, and baby Robin. To say the mould was broken after Sybil was born is a mistake; there was no mould. The phrase “never a dull moment” was coined to describe her life. If things got dull, there was something wrong, and she’d find a way to liven things up. The only time she stopped was for tea, preferably with a sticky bun and the newspaper. Her life was her children, and their children, and James, the ballast that kept her steady. Her passions included music (she was president of the Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival for several years); the Maritime Museum of BC, whose search for a new home was close to her heart; and good form (no hats indoors, shoes polished, etc.). A lifelong member of the Anglican Church, she was also a fatalist: “willy-nilly” closed many complicated conversations—or, more simply, “Let’s change the subject.”
Born in Blackheath, UK, in 1927 while her father, Donald, was on a gunnery course at Woolwich, she came back to Canada with her parents in 1928. Her childhood years were spent in army camps around the country: Shiloh, Gagetown, and Kingston, where Donald became commandant of the Royal Military College after the war. She was in residence at St. Hilda’s College at the University of Toronto, when she met James, who conveniently lived next door at Trinity College. Their adventure together really began when they married in April 1950, James having been given a commission in the navy, thus an income. Four children—Christopher, Joy, Philip, and Peter appeared (as she would say). And then one more: Benjamin. The family moved to Victoria for James’s final naval posting in 1965, and this was to be her home for the rest of her life.
Sybil spent many years as a teacher, at Halifax School for the Blind, Halifax Ladies College, Cedar Lodge (Skeleem Village Recovery Centre) in Cobble Hill, Camosun College, and Norfolk House School, among others. Her longest stint was at Belmont Secondary School in Langford, where she taught French to a generation of students. Nothing had prepared them for the discipline she used as the only way to keep order (as she saw it). We could go on . . . and so she did, self-publishing her memoir, “A Soldier’s Daughter,” in December 2022.
Sybil is predeceased by her parents Donald and Blossom Agnew, sister Patricia, brother John, husband James, infant daughter Robin, and daughter Joy and her husband Stefano. The party continues with sons Christopher (Merrie-Ellen Wilcox), Philip (Tracy O’Hara), Peter (Gurdeep Stephens), and Benjamin (Anne Grimm); grandchildren Marco and Sarah, Oonagh and Harry, Rosanna and Felix (mother Sarah Fryer), Claire and Julian, Robin and Marijn; and great-grandchildren Chloe, Olivia, and Thomas; Enzo, Matteo, and Stefano; and Lyra.
The family would like to thank Dr. Ted Rosenberg; the staff at Parkwood Place, especially Jason and Renée, for their caring support during the two years Sybil lived there; and to the marvellous staff at Sunrise Senior Living, too many to thank here, for making Mum comfortable in her last months.
A Celebration of Life will be held at Christ Church Cathedral, 930 Burdett Avenue, Victoria, BC on Tuesday, August 15, 2023, at 11:00 am.
In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the Maritime Museum of British Columbia.
Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.
Condolences may be offered to the family below.
McCall Gardens
www.mccallgardens.com
47 Responses
When we met Sybil and James Through Cruising Club of America, I found a kindred spirit, and our friendship grew on land and sea, through our common tastes in music and the arts, always family the core of life. Barrie passed five years ago but Sybil and I kept in touch. I hoped to see her one more time, bringing her a copy of my memoirs “Invisible Threads” but found instead that she had written and published her memoirs in 2022! I was inspired by her amazing energy and enthusiasm, and can only imagine how you will miss her. I am so grateful for her warm hospitality and that our paths crossed.
I can’t claim more than a few conversations with Syb and Jim (great reget, there) but from the first moment, it was clear she was a classic–one of a kind. Each one of us owes something to this great mother, teacher, community leader. And one of the last of the generation brought up in the depression, experiencing and surviving the second World War, and rebuilding the world afterwards. Still, Sybil’s family carries her standard with distinction.
To the Butterfield family,
Ah yes, the triumphant solar centre of your family. How this gorgeous force of nature will be missed! And, oh, those splendid parties: salmon baking in the fireplaces, music harking from every corner, Tea With Baby, Drinks and Nibbles, followed by Freeforall. Always, Sybil front and centre, conducting all. What a privilege to have know her, to have danced in her light. I loved James and Sybil madly and deeply.
With condolences to all who will miss them as much as I,
Lynda Pitt-Brooke
Denise Neigel
Dear Claire and the Butterfield family, My deepest condolences on the families loss of Sybil. While I never knew her, from the beautiful tribute she seemed to be a very special individual who walked to the beat of her own drum and who was deeply loved by her family. As someone said she has left the party, but remember the Party never ends! She has probably already created a heavenly “ripper” as she waits for you all to join her some day. Until then may happy memories of her bring you comfort and continue to beat in your hearts!
Dear Christopher, Peter and Benjamin,
So very sorry to learn that Sybil left the pary here.
A truly sad day for everyone that she touched and the overwhelming memories she left for us all. Now a new party has started with James, Joy and Stefano, and what a party it will be.
Thinking of you all today.
Doug and Tibby (Gladwell) Solloway
To the Butterfield family,
Goodness, a wonderful era has closed. Sybil brought much enthusiasm, life, and care for many topics and issues and we are all the better for that. She always had an thoughtful opinion and it was to be definitely to be reckoned with. We will miss her participation in the Maritime Museum and the Thermopylae Club.
Dear Butterfields
I write as a Butterfield myself – my grandmother was Phoebe Butterfield who married Jack Pitt-Brooke a century or more ago. Their son Reg (my father) was James Butterfield’s cousin, and both of them became passionate and lifelong seafarers, I think they both served in Canadian Pacific ships in 1939 – 45 and both were attacked at sea and lucky to escape.
Growing up in England the Butterfields were always in our family conversation, these larger than life characters thousands of miles away, and when I first met them on a visit to Canada in 1970 I was not disappointed. I remember particularly going to see one of the children singing in a concert in Butchart Gardens, but more than that I remember my first visit to the house in Victoria – that atmosphere of constructive creative noisy busyness was quite something. I was a young man then and I remember thinking “one day I might find someone and create a family and have a home like this!” (it is not really for me to say but I think that maybe I have done that!) And at the heart of everything was Syb, so deeply memorable – very much in charge, energetic, positive, curious, full of opinions, fiercely proud of her children; very much a seafarer’s wife (like my mother); and of course one of the most “English” people I ever met!
We kept in touch and in 2011 I was privileged to go as Syb’s guest to the Canadian High Commission in London to an event to commemorate those serving on Atlantic convoys in the war. A model of a corvette was presented for display and I think James’s name was inscribed on the side. There were speeches about The bravery of those extraordinary men (very few who were by then still with us – James had died a couple of years previously.) I remember well Syb’s pride that night, her sense that James had been properly recognized, and also later that evening hearing something from her of her sons’ achievements in the world of music.
Finally my wife and I returned to that same house a few years ago – Syb by then less strong but still burning bright – So although I only met her a few times over many decades I am so pleased to have known her.
John P-B