Sybil Edith Elizabeth Butterfield (née Agnew) left the party after lunch on July 29 to be with husband James, daughter Joy, and baby Robin. To say the mould was broken after Sybil was born is a mistake; there was no mould. The phrase “never a dull moment” was coined to describe her life. If things got dull, there was something wrong, and she’d find a way to liven things up. The only time she stopped was for tea, preferably with a sticky bun and the newspaper. Her life was her children, and their children, and James, the ballast that kept her steady. Her passions included music (she was president of the Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival for several years); the Maritime Museum of BC, whose search for a new home was close to her heart; and good form (no hats indoors, shoes polished, etc.). A lifelong member of the Anglican Church, she was also a fatalist: “willy-nilly” closed many complicated conversations—or, more simply, “Let’s change the subject.”
Born in Blackheath, UK, in 1927 while her father, Donald, was on a gunnery course at Woolwich, she came back to Canada with her parents in 1928. Her childhood years were spent in army camps around the country: Shiloh, Gagetown, and Kingston, where Donald became commandant of the Royal Military College after the war. She was in residence at St. Hilda’s College at the University of Toronto, when she met James, who conveniently lived next door at Trinity College. Their adventure together really began when they married in April 1950, James having been given a commission in the navy, thus an income. Four children—Christopher, Joy, Philip, and Peter appeared (as she would say). And then one more: Benjamin. The family moved to Victoria for James’s final naval posting in 1965, and this was to be her home for the rest of her life.
Sybil spent many years as a teacher, at Halifax School for the Blind, Halifax Ladies College, Cedar Lodge (Skeleem Village Recovery Centre) in Cobble Hill, Camosun College, and Norfolk House School, among others. Her longest stint was at Belmont Secondary School in Langford, where she taught French to a generation of students. Nothing had prepared them for the discipline she used as the only way to keep order (as she saw it). We could go on . . . and so she did, self-publishing her memoir, “A Soldier’s Daughter,” in December 2022.
Sybil is predeceased by her parents Donald and Blossom Agnew, sister Patricia, brother John, husband James, infant daughter Robin, and daughter Joy and her husband Stefano. The party continues with sons Christopher (Merrie-Ellen Wilcox), Philip (Tracy O’Hara), Peter (Gurdeep Stephens), and Benjamin (Anne Grimm); grandchildren Marco and Sarah, Oonagh and Harry, Rosanna and Felix (mother Sarah Fryer), Claire and Julian, Robin and Marijn; and great-grandchildren Chloe, Olivia, and Thomas; Enzo, Matteo, and Stefano; and Lyra.
The family would like to thank Dr. Ted Rosenberg; the staff at Parkwood Place, especially Jason and Renée, for their caring support during the two years Sybil lived there; and to the marvellous staff at Sunrise Senior Living, too many to thank here, for making Mum comfortable in her last months.
A Celebration of Life will be held at Christ Church Cathedral, 930 Burdett Avenue, Victoria, BC on Tuesday, August 15, 2023, at 11:00 am.
In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the Maritime Museum of British Columbia.
Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.
Condolences may be offered to the family below.
McCall Gardens
www.mccallgardens.com
47 Responses
Dearest and treasured Butterfields, spouses, children and extended family of Sybie most rare.
What an incredible celestial force you all orbited. She warmed, she illuminated, and she most definitely held you fast with a guiding force and constant, powerful presence second to none. ‘Mrs. Butterfield’ was how I knew her in the beginning. A Grade 8 lunch invitation to my new friend Benjamin’s home, (a short walk from our school) started with being handed a broom by his whirlwind Mum, swiftly marshalling the three of us into action with clear, quick commands to bring the kitchen to cozy order before sitting down to lunch. Tortellini! A new discovery for me that instantly became a lifelong favorite… Just like you, Ben, your family, and your incredible, original, powerhouse Mum. Graduating to call Mrs. Butterfield ‘Sybil’ and then ‘Sybie’ a few years later felt like being progressively admitted into the very inner sanctum of friendship. I count myself blessed to have known Sybie as a friend alongside our friendship, Ben, all these many years. Both she and your dear dad James where towering figures in my life. I do and will forever miss them greatly. But what incredible, celestial forces all you Butterfields, in your own rights, Sybie and James have left to shine so brightly. As her obituary says, the party most definitely continues for all of us in your orbits. Stephanie and Oliver join me in sending our heartfelt condolences. We will be thinking of you all on August 15, 11am Victoria time.
Andrew, Stephanie and Oliver
To Benjamin, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I met Sybil only once, when I was riding with you in the back seat of a car that carried Sybil and Naomi Henshaw in the front seats–long story. For us to not meet again was surely my loss. However, I did keep in touch with you during your McGill days and, by all accounts, Sybil was a very special character and will be sorely missed. I hope you and the rest of the family may find peace and comfort in your time of sorrow.
Dear Ben, Chris and Butterfield Family.
We are sorry to hear of the passing of your dear mother.
She was truly a character and she leaves a wonderful legacy of dedication to the Victoria arts community.
Thinking of your family at this sad time.
I served on the GVPAF board with Sybil for a number of years and was always moved by her passion for, and commitment to bringing the talents of those young students to a broader audience. Boundless, cheerful energy. I had the privilege of occasional visits in her home and knew that I was in a place where people truly lived – comfortable, casual, personal, artistic.
So very sorry for your loss.
The loss of Sybil is truly the end of an era! I am very blessed to have known her, and the whole Butterfield clan. Life is both very long and very short. Warmest condolences to Christopher, Philip, Pete and Benj, and all the rest. May Light Eternal shine upon her, James and Joy and Stefano.
Condolences to the generations of Butterfields on behalf of the generations of Agnews born to Sybil‘s brother, John Agnew.
Aunt Sybil can best be remembered for her total uniqueness, indomitable spirit deterred by nothing, perpetual energy for living life to the fullest, ability to engage anyone, positive outlook on everything, and her ability to see the humour in things, be they good or bad. Clearly demonstrated in her book, is her unswerving devotion to family and unparalleled storytelling ability. (Many “entertaining” stories recalled are somehow not included.)
In her last decade, my husband and I were fortunate to have Aunt Sybil spend a week with us in Ottawa when she flew in specially to see Jeff receive a prestigious military award. She regaled us for hours, as she customarily did with our family, recounting her many experiences over the years. We were also kept hopping with her busy itinerary which totally wore us out while she looked for more adventures to include in her repertoire. In the somewhat distant past, Uncle James confessed that he often washed the same dishes five times over to escape the deluge of activity created by Aunt Sybil and the children (as well as the plethora of ever present houseguests).
“Flights of angels sing thee to thy rest “ dear Aunt Sybil
What a woman. She was indefatigable and bore down on you–in the nicest possible way–like a 104 gun ship of the line. Her enthusiasm was inexhaustible and she loved to engage you in fascinating conversations which were half cross-examination and half exchange of news. She was an iconic figure and will be most deeply missed.
Dear family of dynamic Sybil….my deepest condolences to all of you at the passing of your amazing matriarch. I worked alongside Sybil on various projects over decades, and witnessed her complete devotion to so many causes, especially her beloved Maritime Museum of BC. While she and myself were on different sides of a discussion sometimes, I smiled when I read the “change the subject” line…I was definitely put in my place diplomatically a few times! I always enjoyed Sybil’s very thoughtful input at our MMBC meetings where she offered helpful advice and poignant questions. Most of all, whenever I saw her, including at many arts events, she would absolutely glow when speaking of her family..she was so very proud of her children, their partners, grandchildren and others in the family circle. May you enjoy everlasting memories to ease the burden of Sybil’s passing. Sent with love.
What a wonderful tribute to an extraordinary woman. Out deepest condolences to the extended Butterfield family.
Greg and Debbie Marchand
Dear Peter and Benjamin,
My most sincere condolences to you and your whole family.
Sybil had a long and well lived life and once told me with pride that she had produced four tenors.
Well done Sybil!