Sybil Edith Elizabeth Butterfield (née Agnew) left the party after lunch on July 29 to be with husband James, daughter Joy, and baby Robin. To say the mould was broken after Sybil was born is a mistake; there was no mould. The phrase “never a dull moment” was coined to describe her life. If things got dull, there was something wrong, and she’d find a way to liven things up. The only time she stopped was for tea, preferably with a sticky bun and the newspaper. Her life was her children, and their children, and James, the ballast that kept her steady. Her passions included music (she was president of the Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival for several years); the Maritime Museum of BC, whose search for a new home was close to her heart; and good form (no hats indoors, shoes polished, etc.). A lifelong member of the Anglican Church, she was also a fatalist: “willy-nilly” closed many complicated conversations—or, more simply, “Let’s change the subject.”
Born in Blackheath, UK, in 1927 while her father, Donald, was on a gunnery course at Woolwich, she came back to Canada with her parents in 1928. Her childhood years were spent in army camps around the country: Shiloh, Gagetown, and Kingston, where Donald became commandant of the Royal Military College after the war. She was in residence at St. Hilda’s College at the University of Toronto, when she met James, who conveniently lived next door at Trinity College. Their adventure together really began when they married in April 1950, James having been given a commission in the navy, thus an income. Four children—Christopher, Joy, Philip, and Peter appeared (as she would say). And then one more: Benjamin. The family moved to Victoria for James’s final naval posting in 1965, and this was to be her home for the rest of her life.
Sybil spent many years as a teacher, at Halifax School for the Blind, Halifax Ladies College, Cedar Lodge (Skeleem Village Recovery Centre) in Cobble Hill, Camosun College, and Norfolk House School, among others. Her longest stint was at Belmont Secondary School in Langford, where she taught French to a generation of students. Nothing had prepared them for the discipline she used as the only way to keep order (as she saw it). We could go on . . . and so she did, self-publishing her memoir, “A Soldier’s Daughter,” in December 2022.
Sybil is predeceased by her parents Donald and Blossom Agnew, sister Patricia, brother John, husband James, infant daughter Robin, and daughter Joy and her husband Stefano. The party continues with sons Christopher (Merrie-Ellen Wilcox), Philip (Tracy O’Hara), Peter (Gurdeep Stephens), and Benjamin (Anne Grimm); grandchildren Marco and Sarah, Oonagh and Harry, Rosanna and Felix (mother Sarah Fryer), Claire and Julian, Robin and Marijn; and great-grandchildren Chloe, Olivia, and Thomas; Enzo, Matteo, and Stefano; and Lyra.
The family would like to thank Dr. Ted Rosenberg; the staff at Parkwood Place, especially Jason and Renée, for their caring support during the two years Sybil lived there; and to the marvellous staff at Sunrise Senior Living, too many to thank here, for making Mum comfortable in her last months.
A Celebration of Life will be held at Christ Church Cathedral, 930 Burdett Avenue, Victoria, BC on Tuesday, August 15, 2023, at 11:00 am.
In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the Maritime Museum of British Columbia.
Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.
Condolences may be offered to the family below.
McCall Gardens
www.mccallgardens.com
47 Responses
Dear Peter and Benjamin,
My most sincere condolences to you and your whole family. Sybil had a long and well lived life and once told me with great pride that she had produced four tenors. Well done Sybil!
How can you love someone and be slightly terrified of them at the same time? Great, great memories of a wonderful woman and loving mother. Truly an exceptional individual who lead a remarkable family that is very much her legacy.
We will all miss her spirit, her passion for life and her ferocious wit.
Love to all the family from The ‘Rivs’
Hugh Ruthven
I had the great pleasure of working with Sybil at Belmont. Even all of these decades later, I remember her immense joie de vivre, which infected everyone around her. She opened her home to exchange teachers from Quebec, and it was a mark of her kindness, warmth and generosity that they enjoyed the visit so much that they returned to visit her again the next year.
I could tell how much she adored her family and how very proud she was of all of you. My deepest sympathy on the passing of an unforgettable woman. I feel grateful to have known her.
Dear Christopher, Philip, Peter and Benjamin and families
So sorry to know that Sybil is no longer with us. We enjoyed her presence at Christ Church and the Naval Association. She was always great fun and lived life fully pretty much to the end. We joked about our experiences at the Halfax Ladies College, Sybil as a teacher and me in kindergarten! Our deepest condolences.
Dear Peter and Family, no matter how old we are, it’s never easy to lose a parent. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you grieve.
I had the honour of living with Sybil in 2020. She was an amazing woman with an indomitable spirit. Her family was just as remarkable as she was. Her stories about her life were colourful and daring. We shared a love of good food and ‘The Crown’ on Netflix – (with an occasional G & T.) We both lacked filters and had many interesting conversations! She made me smile. She had a big impact on all who knew her. We are all richer for having known her.
Dear Ben, Peter, and Felix,
Deepest condolences on the loss of your beautiful mum.
Sybil was a very special person and we are saddened by her death. She will always be with you. With love, Kate and Rob.
In 2019 I came to take singing lessons with Benjamin and stayed with Sybil for 2 weeks. It’s a very precious memory. I was both fascinated and intimidated by this woman with such a rich and passionate background. She seemed to be guided by profound values. My English was a little shaky at the time, so she made some effort to converse in French. We cooked a little together, and especially when it was tea time, never be late! I feel honored to have lived under your roof dear Sybil, au revoir.
Hélène Picard
Souzann MCMillan
It is with great sadness that we heard of Sybil’s passing. She was a dedicated supporter of the Arts. We in Speech knew we could always count on her support. Always a good friend and committed colleague. We will miss you dear Sybil.
The Speech Arts Victoria team.
Dearest Philip, Tracy and Butterfield clan,
“Sybbie” was indeed one-of-a-kind, spending most of her life with a sturdy hand on the family wheel … truly a stalwart supporter of her kith and kin. Yours is a fitting and beautiful tribute to a tireless individual, who gave so much to so many. She will be missed but never forgotten.
Rest in peace Sybil with Joy, Robin and of course James by your side.