Sybil Edith Elizabeth Butterfield (née Agnew) left the party after lunch on July 29 to be with husband James, daughter Joy, and baby Robin. To say the mould was broken after Sybil was born is a mistake; there was no mould. The phrase “never a dull moment” was coined to describe her life. If things got dull, there was something wrong, and she’d find a way to liven things up. The only time she stopped was for tea, preferably with a sticky bun and the newspaper. Her life was her children, and their children, and James, the ballast that kept her steady. Her passions included music (she was president of the Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival for several years); the Maritime Museum of BC, whose search for a new home was close to her heart; and good form (no hats indoors, shoes polished, etc.). A lifelong member of the Anglican Church, she was also a fatalist: “willy-nilly” closed many complicated conversations—or, more simply, “Let’s change the subject.”
Born in Blackheath, UK, in 1927 while her father, Donald, was on a gunnery course at Woolwich, she came back to Canada with her parents in 1928. Her childhood years were spent in army camps around the country: Shiloh, Gagetown, and Kingston, where Donald became commandant of the Royal Military College after the war. She was in residence at St. Hilda’s College at the University of Toronto, when she met James, who conveniently lived next door at Trinity College. Their adventure together really began when they married in April 1950, James having been given a commission in the navy, thus an income. Four children—Christopher, Joy, Philip, and Peter appeared (as she would say). And then one more: Benjamin. The family moved to Victoria for James’s final naval posting in 1965, and this was to be her home for the rest of her life.
Sybil spent many years as a teacher, at Halifax School for the Blind, Halifax Ladies College, Cedar Lodge (Skeleem Village Recovery Centre) in Cobble Hill, Camosun College, and Norfolk House School, among others. Her longest stint was at Belmont Secondary School in Langford, where she taught French to a generation of students. Nothing had prepared them for the discipline she used as the only way to keep order (as she saw it). We could go on . . . and so she did, self-publishing her memoir, “A Soldier’s Daughter,” in December 2022.
Sybil is predeceased by her parents Donald and Blossom Agnew, sister Patricia, brother John, husband James, infant daughter Robin, and daughter Joy and her husband Stefano. The party continues with sons Christopher (Merrie-Ellen Wilcox), Philip (Tracy O’Hara), Peter (Gurdeep Stephens), and Benjamin (Anne Grimm); grandchildren Marco and Sarah, Oonagh and Harry, Rosanna and Felix (mother Sarah Fryer), Claire and Julian, Robin and Marijn; and great-grandchildren Chloe, Olivia, and Thomas; Enzo, Matteo, and Stefano; and Lyra.
The family would like to thank Dr. Ted Rosenberg; the staff at Parkwood Place, especially Jason and Renée, for their caring support during the two years Sybil lived there; and to the marvellous staff at Sunrise Senior Living, too many to thank here, for making Mum comfortable in her last months.
A Celebration of Life will be held at Christ Church Cathedral, 930 Burdett Avenue, Victoria, BC on Tuesday, August 15, 2023, at 11:00 am.
In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the Maritime Museum of British Columbia.
Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.
Condolences may be offered to the family below.
McCall Gardens
www.mccallgardens.com
47 Responses
Dearest Ben and the Butterfield Family, sending hugs to all of you and cherished memories of your dear mum. Always full of life, warmth and fun, she had a sparkle in her eye and profound love for her family. Her admiration of music and values of being together with family and friends shared joy with so many. Sybil attended and supported so many musical endeavours. I also remember enjoying tea with her in your parents lovely back garden many years ago. Sybil’s strong and monumental legacy will continue to shine in all of you.
Our visits over tea will be missed. As my boys plunked away at the piano she would say “I think this one is musical Jenni!” She was such an incredible woman who taught us all about the importance of family, good friends and staying connected to your community and the world. Our love to all Sybil’s family as you celebrate a life that brought so much light into all of our lives…We will keep her spirit with us.
Love from the McKay Family
Dear Peter, Benjamin and Christopher,
I heard of your mother long before meeting her and in our first encounter at a VPC concert, she was every bit as engaging and spirited as I anticipated! What a legacy she leaves through each of you and your families! Her gifts to the communities in which she found herself are also deep, wide, and intergenerational. She was a truly remarkable woman who touched so many. My thoughts are with you.
Valerie
We’d like to express our sincere condolences to you and your family. Thinking of you and wishing you strength and comfort.
There is a saying that everybody is unique but some are more unique than others. Undoubted for us Sybil belongs to the last category. We will never forget our contacts with her since 2002.
A life well-lived, Sybil! Well done.
A force to be reckoned with from the time I first met her in the choir in 1965. Like another Mum.
I have fond memories of Sybil and of the wonderful summer I spent in Victoria at the Butterfield’s. This woman had miraculous energy and contagious love for life. She has been the pillar of a gorgeous family and we really admired her. We Rusconi’s from Florence hug her sons Christopher, Philip, Peter Benjamin and their families with love and affection
Sybil rest in peace with your beloved James and Joy, you will be always in our hearts ❤️
Claudia e Fabio, Carlo, Anna
Dear Butterfields in all your generations
What a perfect send-off for an amazing, unforgettable and legendary personage. Having first met her in 1985, I have an array of remarkable — truly one of a kind incidents and conversations playing in my head; the merest inkling of how it might be for you.
While every individual is unique, Sybie somehow managed to telegraph her individuality with every facet of her being. I believe she has passed on that capacity, mutatis mutandis to each one of you it has been my pleasure to know. It seems safe to say it is a heritable characteristic, a wonderful legacy.
Our heartfelt condolences
Annelies Orestes and Leander
Truly, she was an amazing woman. May her memory continue to inspire us. I will always be grateful for her work with the Victoria Performing Arts Festival and association with the Victoria Philharmonic Choir.
My deepest condolences to Kristafor, Philip, Peter, Benjamin, and all the family . Sybil was an extraordinary woman devoted to her family, powered by an Everready battery indefatigable. No one could work harder or longer, or to better effect; no one could resist her call to action. Unafraid and adventurous, definitely her fathers daughter, Sybil was a banquet for those with a taste for character, strength, kindness, integrity and good humour. A great friend, caring and full of wit and good counsel. We shall not see her like again.