Duncan James Hugh Pirie

November 14, 1988 – May 4, 2022

November 14, 1988 – May 4, 2022

It is with broken hearts we announce that our beloved son, Duncan, passed May 4th, 2022, at the age of 33 on Pender Island, British Columbia. Duncan leaves behind his Mum and Dad (Wendy and Ian), sisters Robyn, Katrine and Fiona and his cousin Jeremy (Lakes-Gardner) who joined the family in 2008 and was considered by Duncan to be his little brother. He was a nephew, cousin, dear friend, and a beautiful soul.

Duncan was born in Richmond, BC and lived in Ladner for five years before moving to Santiago, Chile with his family in 1994. At age 10 his family returned to Canada where he spent the next 12 years in Oakville, Ontario.

He was a delightful child.  A curious and inquisitive lad, he was fascinated by nature and creepy crawly things.  He marvelled at the slugs on the path after the rain, the business of sow bugs in the compost box and the magic of a spider’s web.  A kind and gentle boy, he loved animals and wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Life in Chile was an adventure. He was great at making friends, loved Boy Scouts, reading books and playing with his sisters.  He was a charming boy, learned quickly and thought deeply.  He was well regarded by his teachers, friends, and their parents.  He was clever, funny and affectionate.  He enjoyed many wonderful travels with his family in Chile, Ecuador, Peru, Britain, Australia, Hawaii, the Caribbean, and Canada.  Later, in high school, he went on an extensive trip to Europe for a semester with an educational programme which he thoroughly enjoyed.

Duncan grew into a handsome, charismatic young man.  He was full of vitality and was part of a great group of friends that he made at Oakville Trafalgar High School.  His friends were constantly in and out of our home for fun evenings of board and video games, and teenage shenanigans. He was a competitive swimmer and an avid soccer player.  He even assisted his Dad in coaching his sister’s soccer team.  Halloween was one of his favourite times of the year and his pumpkin carving skills were second to none.  He loved to craft elaborate Warhammer figurines and was a top ranked player of any game he cared to master on line.

Duncan’s first job was at Pharma Plus in Oakville. He was only 15 when started so he could earn spending money, but he became a valued employee with great people and problem-solving skills.  He showed his entrepreneurial side by selling Cutco knives before starting with a Student Painters business and quickly becoming a site leader.  Other summer jobs included bar tending for a catering service and a junior assistant at SNC Lavalin.

At Acadia University in Nova Scotia Duncan was elected his Residence Social Convener and was responsible for a large budget to organize social events for first year students.  Duncan was doing well and his future looked bright.

Problems started to surface in his 3rd year and things began to spiral downwards for Duncan as mental illness reared its ugly head.  The next decade of Duncan’s life was a struggle.  He moved to Pender Island in 2012 to be with his parents and seek professional help.  Things improved for a while and he worked on Pender as a house painter for a time. He engaged with family and friends more.

As the cascade of ups and downs continued, various medications and various diagnosis were given. Duncan had been looking much better and engaging more in recent months, but missing his medication for a few days resulted in tragic consequences.  He ended his life and his torment on May 4th, 2022.

Always our loving and considerate sweet boy, he made sure to let us know that he loved us and the wonderful life he had had.

For his extended family and friends, he left these words:

          Please my friends, know I love you dear

          But my world is crumbling

          I need out of here.

          Know my friends, I love you dear

          But I must get out of here.

           I’m sorry. I haven’t said much.

          I’m not sure my mind is sound.

          And it would surely break if

I knew I dragged you down.

        Know my friends, I love you dear.

  But I must get out of here.

His friends and friends of the family are welcome to join us Wednesday, May 18th, 2022 at 2:00 pm for a Funeral service and reception to be held at Holy Cross Church, 4049 Gordon Head Road, Victoria, BC.  For those who cannot attend, a link to a livestream will be provided.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in his memory to Our Place, 919 Pandora Ave., Victoria, B.C. V8V3P4 (www.ourplacesociety.com/how-you-can-help/donate).

Condolences may be offered to the family below.

McCall Gardens
www.mccallgardens.com

62 Responses

  1. Wendy, Ian and family,
    So sorry for your loss. Life is precious. Stay strong.

  2. Dear Wendy,Ian & family,

    Such a beautiful tribute you wrote here for your precious Duncan. I love how it made me feel as if I knew him better. The raw truth in his own words was so powerful and will comfort all. I am so very heartbroken for you all but grateful, as Duncan is, that you have each other and your faith to cling to as you grieve together. Know that he is there with you still and has only passed over and find comfort in knowing that he has now seen the face of God and is smiling. No more pain or struggles,only Peace.

  3. Dear Wendy, Ian and Family,

    I just got back to town from the field and I’m heartbroken and shocked to see the news Mum had forwarded me.

    I am so, so sorry for your loss.

    I have great memories of our time in Chile. Duncan was one of my best friends while we lived in Santiago. Our summer camps, the times we spent racing around the backyard playing hiding and seek – we used to get into so much trouble! I look back on those memories fondly and now, even doubly so, now that I know Duncan is gone.

    I am forever grateful to have had him in my life.

    Sending our deepest condolences and the warmest of hugs.
    Katie Willder (Heberlein) & family.

  4. We just found out, with a terrible sense of disbelief at first, about Duncan’s death. Mental health issues are a terrible hard road to walk and all the help and love that family, friends and profesionals can offer is sometimes not enough. Know that we are thinking of you in your sorrow and hoping that the memories of your son will give you some measure of peace in the future.

  5. Dear Wendy and Ian
    We are so very sorry about your loss of Duncan. Our thoughts are with you. Please accept our sincere condolences.
    Urs and Judy Boxler

  6. Wendy, Ian and Family

    A wonderful tribute to Duncan, it brought back many memories of your tales of the exciting life and times you all had together.
    Wishing you love and strength in the difficult days ahead.

  7. Wendy, Ian and family,

    Our hearts are with you in this difficult time. Please accept our deepest condolences for your loss.

    Sue Kernaghan and Richard Elwell

  8. Dear Wendy and Ian, my deepest sympathies to your family. I have so many fond memories of Duncan throughout his time in Oakville. We spent many so much time together throughout high school and he was always the first to come up with plans for most of the “shenanigans” that went on. Always in good fun. He is truly missed and I am so sorry for your loss.

  9. Dear Ian and Wendy and your family,

    It is with great sadness that I write these words.

    There must no greater pain for parents than the loss of one of their children.

    I had the privilege of knowing your son as a child and a young teenager.

    I saw him grow with my children and he was always keen to exhibit his many passions.

    He was smart, funny and full of joy.

    His enthusiasm was contagious as well as his natural leadership.

    He was a beautiful person that loved the world and the world loved him.

    The world that crumbled around him is a reminder of how life can quickly change and that we are blessed to be able to celebrate it every day with the people that we love.

    I hope that in these times of grieving that you will find peace and will keep forever the precious memories and love that Duncan brought in your lives.

  10. Dear Wendy, Ian and family.
    I am truly saddened to hear of the tragic passing of Duncan. In reading your wonderfully descriptive obituary of him, he truly was an amazing young man and you should be so very proud of him and the accomplishments he made during his life.

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